Another existential question, this time I m questioning the existence of something as fundamental as love.An emotion that identifies life, or rather is embodied by all life forms.
And I say, there's nothing called as love. Love is nothing but compromise. The amount of love u have for a person is actually the level of compromise you are ready to make for that person.
Funny, and also outrageous, you may say. But try to think of it, and you wont find any argument that negates this opinion. Simply becoz all forms of love translate into some or the other kind of compromise...that one/both people involved have to make.
Not satisfied? Ok, let me discuss some situations. Your parents love you unconditionally. This translates into the fact that they can compromise to any level for you. And your love for them is also measured by the amount of compromise(or you can call it sacrifice) that you can make for them. So in simple terms, its the amount of compromise you make.
Still not convinced? Another situation: If you say you love someone, it translates into how much you are ready to let go for him/her. Which again translates into a compromise, doesn't it? And it all usually ends up in marriage, which is another compromise, where the girl compromises by leaving her parents' home, and the guy compromises by accomodating her and looking after her. Any let up in this compromise, and u see marriages in trouble.
So you see, what exists is not love, but compromise. Which is why people find it so tough to define love....
This may be a hard hitting post, but I feel whatever I have written here is the truth. I do not know if some philosopher has already said this, and I dont give a damn if they already have. But this is my own realisation, and I am most willing to hear any arguments otherwise...
adios
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15 comments:
Ashish,
Whats with the outburst ? :o)
Compromise might be an outcome of love, but then, it ain't compromise in the true sense as there is no feeling of guilt or pain because of what is given up.
If you really love someone the way love is defined, I don't think the little sacrifices that you would make wud bother u. Love is above all compromises, which is why there is one definition for compromise, while there are umpteen definitions for love.
*nods in agreement with Somu!*
I agree - Love at times can be seen as a Compromise but thats not all that Love is about..... And I mean... Its just too hard too explain.
Love is something that has been argued over for ages n ages... n the arguement continues........
compromise is one of the outcomes of being in love and not love itself...
love gives rise to many other phenomena...
love is begginning of ...
Its sure difficult to define love not because we cannot,just because its somuch of a personal feeling,no universal defination ashish. No,i dont think we can measure your parents love for us through the compromises they make,Its beyond such material facts.And if atall we talk of compromises then you do it willingly,dont we?
Dont let the anger get into you my dear friend,Its hard,its frustrating but sure "who said we are amde to deal with easy things in life?" This shall also pass.takecare
@ Somu: Well, a reason for this outburst could be the failure of my own love, due to her inability to compromise :-) Though I agree that there can be umpteen definitions for love, I don't find anyone being as hard-hitting & true as this one!!
@ Nupur: Well if u think of it, love is actually nothing but compromise...though i agree that compromise can't be used in place of love, the word's too harsh!! Still as all realities are, this one too seems like a bitter pill
@ Soumya: hey u r here after a really long time? where have u been?
as i have realised, love is the beginning of a big compromise...
@ akruti: well I know i took things a bit far by taking the parents' example in the post, but i am nowhere questioning the sanctity of a parents' love for his/her child...and its unconditional. And I know parents make compromises expecting nothing in return....that s what we call pure love, don't we?
well, i don't know if this is anger, feels more like frustration....hope this passes too..
thanks for the wonderful words....
Hey new blog template et al?
I shud be the last person to talk abt love :D
@ J: Hey J where have u been?
Don't worry, u r second last :)
in love ther is compromise but just compromise is not love...i go with somu
love is devine
love is caring
love is loving.....
*smile on my face* reading a lot of comments that sounds so surreal!!
I dont know if all this people also saw the other side - when it fails. And I only hope they dont have to!!! Been there felt that....I know what u feel !!!
Though once the phase passes and you are able to laugh at it or the least smile when the scar is remembered..... you'll have a new way of looking at the same thing !!! and then you may still believe in this post or the views may change !!! Hope you are able to do that sooner than I did.....without the add on experiences I went thru !!!
As for me, I dont think I can define it .....And I know I'll define it when I get an answer for the never ending search called life !!!
Hm.... and what about love without compromise? When u love someone so much u have to let go without any compromises? When u love in the distance being unable to make any compromises? When u love someone who asks no comprimises from u?
Even though I believe Love exists, this post got me thinking... not wondering wether it exists or not, but how to make a proper deffinition...
I don't htink it's the same as compromise, compromise ties u to something, Love intead sets u free :)
Hope this stage passes ASAP and that after tha u believe in love, let it touch u and willingly choose the compromise :)
love is NOT about compromise.
my favourite love story is that of Sita for Rama.
Sure she left the kingdom for the forest to be with him
But in the end, when he calls her back to the kingdom from the forest, she refuses.
(he had banished her to forest after couple of people in his kingdom doubted her and after being reunited with his sons, he calls her back)
Any relationship involves compromises. But compromise should not be the main part of the relationship.
love doesnt mean losing ones dignity.
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