Then suddenly, in a flash, one of my longest standing questions was answered. And I found tears streaming out of my eyes. Tears of pain, tears of sadness but above all, tears of apology. I had always blamed her, my first love, for whatever went wrong in our relationship. Always thought that she had never told me why she left me. But it all came to me yesterday.
It wasn't her, it was me. I was the one who had stopped caring, without even realizing. I was the one who took her love for granted. I was the one who wasn't with her when she needed me the most. It wasn't her, it was me all along.
And now, I have no way to tell her this. I don't have her contact number, or her working e-mail id. Life has its own ways of getting back at you. I am sorry, sorry for blaming her...sorry for not being there. I don't want her to look back, no. Just want her to know that I realize that it was me, not her. And I apologize.
But will she know?
And what opened my eyes? Well I was at the receiving end...and it was in those moments I thought, I had also did with her what was happening with me today. Life does come a full circle, and you pay off all your debts here only.
My only wish is that the person who was making me wait shouldn't ever suffer or realize this, like I did today. May life never come a full circle for her....
amen
---------UPDATE 11-May-2006----------------
Another beginning has come to an end....and another end beckons a beginning. This is what makes me feel a little better..
11 comments:
Why blame anyone at all? Even yourself? It's all in the game pal, the design's like that!
Amit
:( all i have at the moment is couple of tears..
tc
You learn ...learn ...and at the end you realize that you haven't learnt anything at all !
Pain is a tonic for body...
Sorrows are tonic for mind..
Just be a bit more stronger ...
From,
The One you asked to ...
Nothing is lost my friend.
You just don't find it.
You must begin by knowing that u have already arrived.
Keep it burning,
Amit
Life comes full circle...
But that's true for the good things too. So keep doing good & they'll come back. Love purely & pure love will come.
And remember, as long as you've learned a lesson out of it (even if many years down the line), it's not a bad thing.
just dropped in to say hi and take care:)
@ all: all i can say is thank you, for being there. I have come out of the blues...and a new post awaits...:-)
piercing..! for me too..in a similar condition..But..! I was the 'Her' in my case..!
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