Today...almost 6 months after the explosion that shook my entire life...i sit to sift the debris that it left (see this)
....trying to analyse what went wrong...why did all my dreams suddenly turn into nightmares...why did all those sweet memories suddenly meta-morphosize into painful thoughts....
and all I see is my fault.
Had I given her a little more time than I did.....
Had I taken off a week and gone to visit her, spend some time with her and give her some confidence...
But am I the only culprit who triggered this? Couldn't she have trusted me? Why did the trust end...and took our lives down with it?
I seem to have absolutely no idea....though taking more blame for this seems to be making me feel better...
somehow its so comforting to know that you were wrong..and not the one you loved! She was right, and maybe she still is.....
i'll retain this debris though...who knows when i'd have to go through it again....some day!!!
who knows, at least not me!!
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9 comments:
Like the phoenix from the ashes rise again!
ohhh!!!
reminds me of that ghazal by Jagjit Singh - "teri khushboo se bhare khat". Especially the last 2 lines....
Cheer up! :)
Agree with Smyta, Bach's the man, you got to read. The guy writes on a totally different plane.
@ manjusha: well that s what i m trying to do....
@ nupur: really nice ghazal u reminded me of...will listen to it once i m home!
@ smyta: suggest some titles pls...and the possible time(IST) when u r usually online...will try to sync up with u!
@ chakshu: well tell me some titles yaar...i'l sure try to pick 'em up!
hmmm.....blaming thyslf !!! Not new....been there done that.....
It is very comforting to put all the blame onto yourself trying to convince yourself that the person you love had been right and it is you who saw things wrong. I guess it stems from the fact that we dont want the person whom we love to reject us. It is like you know, getting dumped and then wonder abt the never answerable question of why did he/she ever do it? what did they see in the other that was suddenly missing in me? So, it is better this way that the mistake, the blame be on us and the subject of love had never changed. It keeps one going. you might want to read this
BTW, its a tragedy...might not make you feel all the more better !!! Leave it to your discretion.
oh oh... me the worst person to give advice.
*sneeking outa here*
I have been looking for sites like this for a long time. Thank you!
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