Why can't I control my thoughts....control my mind, and tell it what to think & what not.
Had a chat with her again on the fone today...its like scratchin wounds, preventing them from healing..and it hurts. Hurts me, and I think it hurts her too. I think, but I don't know because I can't say I know her. After what happened, no, I don't know her as well as I used to think.
We both know we are running away, not from each other, but ourselves. It is always so easy to go away from someone, but its not easy to go away from yourself. That also when a part of you wants those wonderful times again....
Those mornings in college, those evenings in the temple, those nights on the phone.
I don't know...but I just want to roll up in a corner & cry...very unmanly, yes, but still. Its like releasing a dam....just that this one is bound to fill up sooner.
Many of my friends say...Hope I was you, but do they know its not so easy being me.
Its just me, myself and the endless black sky. No light....
Going back into the dark....and soltitude.....when will my life be like a life?
I have no answers. Only questions....
bye
coherent ramblings of an incoherent mind...
About Me
- @$#!$#
- There are three ways of doing things - the right way, the wrong way, and the way I do it!
17 comments:
Ashish,
Now that both of you had a small break why dont you patch up with each other? Eventhough I dont know much (or should I use anything) about you two, still I am sure there is nothing which cant be resolved if both of you wanted to. Even otherwise keep your spirits alive, this is a new day.....
Hi Ashish,
Life is like topography,Hobbes.There are summits of happiness and success...Flat stretches of boring routine...And valleys of frustration and failure. ~ CALVIN
As per the above u seem to be in those valleys of frustration anxiously waiting for the summits of happiness to reappear.
I dont have a clue about what happened, but since u have posted it on ur blog, I will anyways give my 2 cents.
Since u ppl are still on talking terms it does auger well, it means there is still scope of patch up But you have to take a call, do you want to go back to those moments which are causing so much of pain now or do you want to move ahead?
Cheer up friend, World is small and life long, take the best with the worst but keep moving along!
BTW stumbled on ur blog from sangeeta's blog, nice blog u have!
Cheers!
Stop asking questions my dear,because u have to think for the answers and u wont find then until they reappear on the screen of life all by themselves.U can sure control u r thoughts,control u r mind but can u handle ur emotions, u r feelings? ur heart? Done try to think or feel on her behalf,feel urself,Let go for once ashish,it hurts badly and life cannot be normal ever again but give it a try,a second chance maybe.
Who said crying is unmanly..... Fingers to them who said so !!! but have been there done that....it IS tough with capital T!
But just remember this, I had a news early in the week of a death of an old collegue of mine who married another one after lotsa struggle and endless years of waiting last friday and sunday died in an acident(though the girl is unscathed and alive to bear the loss).....Life is just a snap of your finger.....hurting and feeling hurt is not worth the time.
That news was not to make u feel bad, its to make you realize how important people are and how important it is for us to accept them for what they are because one fine day, we might be in a position with that scary phrase in our mind " If only...."
it is not easy to go away from someone u love truly
it is impossible to do that
i know u wont like thses statements but it is the truth that only these moments can bring out a true being out of ur self
these moments of pain and darkness only tells us the true meaning of life, true meaning of being loved by parents, siblings and other relations
its true that it is difficult to be u
but everybody goes through these moments of pain and darkness
all of us get heartbreaks from one relation ot other
u can cry it is not unmanly
but if u dont rise after crying that is unmanly
there r so many ppl around u who needs u
whose life depends on ur smiling face
sorry if i have hurt u
just forget my statements if this is the case
I dont know wat prob u two r facing..I think all probs can be solved with right communication..perhaps u need to hav a heart-to-heart talk.It might help..
@ baejaar : some things are just not possible...and it was never about takin a break..
@ trace_b : thanks...i can recognise that name though..its one of calvin's fav getups...after the pterodactyl of course... :-)
its tough to move along...when the baggage is inside u...
@ akruti : can u?
@ phantom : point well taken mate...and it sure is tough. But as they say, when the goin gets tough, the tough get goin.
@ soumya: u haven't hurt me at all...its just that its not easy to forget.
@ neha : the problem is that there is no problem. its all over...and i still wish it dint get over...
@ smyta : it wasn't due to something in our control...just that her parents weren't ready...and i guess she made the right choice...
after all she owed them her life!!
Dude,
Time heals and the best is yet to come. What is true will last... And what did not last may have not been true. Not that I wanna sound philosophical, just that am coming from experience.
If crying was so unmanly, no man would have ever cried. It's ok to let it all out of your system.
It will get better. U would feel better. Just tread along. It's not the end of the world, though it would seem like one. Sport a smile (even if it means acting, that can make someone smile and inturn make u genuinely smile) and stop scratching wounds.
If everything is out of your control now, Move on. Just move on. The past should only be a memory. Not an agonising experience !!!
Hi Ashish!! first time here!!
Guess its not appropriate to comment w/o knwing both of u but I was in same sort of situation and I would side with V here.. u r just 22.. Its gonna be difficult but absorb it and hope u have better luck ahead..
First time here (tho I enjoyed reading ur blog's blog some time ago :P).
I agree with Ph here, who said crying is unmanly? crying is human and... okay, boring explanation here but... it's the most effective way to get rid of depression toxines, so go ahead and get rid of those, they are of no use ;)
Who hasn't been there? few I dare say. It hurts like... a lot :P But it also heals ;) Unlike others I think pain is meant to be lived, as is joy... as all of them, personal opinion.
Hope u cheer up soon ;)
:(
@ somu : i am trying to move forward but i guess it'd take time...its already 6 months since this happened...
@ v: thanx for linking me! As I said, i m tryin to move forward, but its not easy.
@ vivhyd: thanx for the wishes dude..c u around
@ mon: thats a novel explanation :-)
it sud heal..lets see how long this takes.
Hey Ashish,
whatever it is that happened between you, get this one clear - does she still love you ? If yes, then you are bound to repent going away all through your life. Trust me, after a while, whether you still love her doesn't matter as much whether she still loves you. At some point of time in future, if you find out that she still does, it's going to tear you apart whatever you are doing then or whoever you are with. It's only then life tells you that it's too late.
take care and work it out, now.
- (a different) Soumya.
Ashish,
Its good tht u are trying to overcome this, keep tryin I am sure u will get out of this as a winner. BTW u identified right(it seems u 2 r a big fan of CnH), tracer_bullet is calvin's alter ego as a private eye where he deals with dames (miss wormwood and suzie) and solves weird mystries like the following
"jack drives at 60mph and joe at 30mph, they pass each other in 10 mins, How far apart whr they when they started (they are driving towards each other)?"
Guess the ans?? Mr. Billion ie 1,000,000,000 ;-)
Cheer up frnd and yes I am frm delhi!
@ j: I know..... its sad..but can't help it.
@ enchant: thanx dude...and welcome. btw i can't see ur profile? cud u tell m ur blog address?
@ (a diff)soumya: when u have to decide between someone who has loved u for 2 years and someone who has loved u for 20 yrs, the former s bound to lose...
@ tracer_b : yup i am a huge fan of calvin. I have his full collection (almost). And great to know that u r from delhi...will try to meet up.
i m in gugrgaon, btw.
Very cool design! Useful information. Go on!
» »
Post a Comment